


Piece That Puzzle

by kunehonim



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChenSoo, Friendship, M/M, Rebound, broken!kaisoo, chendo, soochen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-07-15 23:25:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7243105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunehonim/pseuds/kunehonim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongdae has always been an observer. Kyungsoo made him eager to participate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Piece That Puzzle

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Cross-posting my entry to Chenpionships~ Edited & beta'ed.

It's at 7 in the evening when Jongdae halts his activities. Taking his already-pressed-against-the-table forehead back so as to give attention to the cluttering sounds behind him, he turns to find his tiny room mate skittering into their shared room with a crestfallen expression, worry lines boasting at his forehead.

He isn't discreet about it-- staring at said boy as he tries very hard to go unnoticed. Kyungsoo tries to slip in a peek towards him and upon catching him in the act, Jongdae offers a tight-lipped smile, the petite returning the deed but with less effort.

 

Jongdae sighs as he watches Kyungsoo, not offering the same greeting that is close to a 'hey' or anything of the usual. The small brunet does as he routinely does. Padding his way to his side of the room, he places his things down neatly as if piecing a puzzle together. Kyungsoo always puts his things to the same place as they were.

He doesn't say anything to the way Kyungsoo's mood has plummeted rather; Jongdae only goes about his business, only looking over his shoulder to check if there's been a positive change to the brunet's expression.

So far there's been nothing.

 

Jongdae and Kyungsoo have been roommates for the past two years. Having known one another like the cliché stories told of two best friends, the duo were coincidentally roomed together for the second time then, having them come to an agreement that they will make arrangements for the following years to be together.

It isn't a problem because the both of them always preferred to be in their own respective businesses. It was a mutual ground that they've come to enjoy, very much like when they were the pair that many people turned heads to, the pair that stayed afloat-- but never really rode the same current.

Their relationship isn't what most roommates' would be if one may say so-- isn't really what two people who've known each other their whole lives should have.

Jongdae and Kyungsoo always shared the same characteristics, shared the same goals in life.

As for Jongdae who majors in music whilst Do Kyungsoo did the same, they could probably say that it is the only thing that could associate them with each other— in terms that didn't include rooming together or wanting not to have anyone else's noses up their businesses.

 

The both of them are privacy-loving fellows to the point that even in the comforts of their shared abode, the pair have continued on being too private and even though Jongdae considers it a blessing, he often times found it a waste because it left him and his friend wanting nothing much to do with each other. But then again, now that they're both juniors, Jongdae can say that it's finally getting better.

 

In the third year is when Jongdae's got the hang of calling the smaller's attention. Kyungsoo's growing more and more comfortable with the idea of raising a hand to wave whenever their eyes meet in campus.

It's a miracle coming true that they manage to carry a conversation in the dormitories and now that it's all become a routine— a flow, the both of them get to know each other, sometimes talking about just anything, or by some days as to what it's been, Jongdae would sit on the carpeted floor with his back on the framing of his bed as he listens to the tiny male talk about his boyfriend.

Jongdae could only imagine because as far as he's put it, he's never really been in that realm before. It's a foreign topic to him— Love.

It's part of the waters that he's yet to discover and soak into. That or he'll continue staring as he tries to dip a finger to it only to cower back out because with the way Kyungsoo's always ending his conversations in the phone with a solemn look on his face with a low 'Bye Jongin' fading at the end as if nobody is there to listen, Jongdae finds himself preferring to be an audience more than a participant.

He's not one to pry, as he too has his own experience in having people try to get into his system. He sees things like that, applying them to himself and then to others.

Kim Jongdae is that of observation and application.

 

Things continue to fall into different places. Maybe it's by the way Kyungsoo would come back to their room at random times— a pattern that begins to blur in Jongdae's mind as he always remembers how the smaller guy always arrived on point to the time he did the other day.

And then there's the part where Kyungsoo begins talking to him for a longer amount of time, even going so far as to asking him how his own day went, which to his own surprise as he feels that bubbly feeling inside him surface— that he's been waiting for this change.

 

Jongdae likes the way Kyungsoo tosses his bag to his own bed— how it's different to the way he usually puts it at the side, like it has its own life.

 

He's starting to think that maybe it's okay to tip the finished puzzle.

 

Just so that it can be rearranged again.

 

Who knows, maybe there's a different result?

 

. . .

 

A few months pass and Kyungsoo comes home yet again and it's the same situation, same act. Jongdae's cooking dinner this time because Kyungsoo had found the habit of coming home whenever he feels like it— sometimes early, sometimes late.

Although Jongdae keeps to himself when he knows it's needed, he would find himself turning with his back against the counter directing a pointed look towards the boy who these days seem as though he's been mourning for something everybody else is oblivious to.

 

Usually, Kyungsoo would tell him it's nothing, but then, the shorter would proceed to stand by the framing of the door, lean to his side and just let out a sigh.

It's only when Jongdae turns the stove off and sets the spatula down when Kyungsoo would walk towards him, sometimes offer him that exhausted smile that he's come to realize only comes out if anything in relation to Jongin happens.

 

And today would be one of those days.

 

With a tight line upon his lips, Jongdae welcomes him with open arms because all he can do for now is to comfort Kyungsoo this way. All he can do for now is to stay silent.

Because he himself is just getting used to this.

This kind of closeness.

Over dinner is when Jongdae would get a glimpse of what Kyungsoo's boyfriend is like. Over dinner— a new term that the two of them are finally sharing after the boy came up to him with a plate, telling him that he can join him in the table if he wanted another serving.

Jongin is a subject that the both of them— or rather, Kyungsoo alone love to tackle. He finds it amusing sometimes because it's when he can witness his friend change expressions in a mere turn of situation.

Jongin is a topic that Kyungsoo likes to talk about, he observes. And opposite from how much of an ass he seems to the smaller, as Jongdae have compiled in his thoughts for the many times that he's seen the male with slumped shoulders after a phone call with the said male— their conversation would carry out smooth and end with Jongdae seeing Jongin in a better light.

 

Jongin loves to dance; he has an interest for sleep and fried chicken. He has dogs, and he even finds out that Kyungsoo met him during that one year when he transferred away because Kyungsoo's family had to.

Kyungsoo's fondness of Jongin gives him the impression that he was it, Kyungsoo's last piece.

Off-track from the subject, Jongdae wonders that that's it— Kyungsoo met Jongin when he went away from him…

When they got separated.

It's not the first time that he listens to Kyungsoo talk about Jongin, really. It's not the first time that he reminisces about how their fragile relationship survived through the years.

It also isn't the first time where it has himself asking where he fits in this frame.

 

If he was even a puzzle piece in this story.

 

. . .

 

Kyungsoo's going out with Jongin that day and he bids the smaller with a smile on his lips, reflecting the ones on the latter.

"Are you sure you don't want to come down? At least meet him in person you know. So you can stop asking me to describe his face." The smaller huffs as he grabs his messenger bag.

"I'm not really in a hurry. I'm sure there'll be a better time for that."

Kyungsoo's not one to force, so he lets it go. Instead, he checks himself one last time in the mirror. It's getting chilly these days and he forgets about his scarf, only remembering it when the said material is slung around his neck, Jongdae doing him the favor.

Kyungsoo flinches, surprised by the closeness… He just wished that Jongdae didn’t notice-- but then again they’ve gone over standing close to one another. They’ve already hugged more than twice… What more for a little care like this one?

Jongdae pulls away from him and Kyungsoo tries to control his breathing. Jongdae hasn’t held himself out like before. It’s like they’re really supposed to be the best of friends that the years have prevented them from being. Kyungsoo somewhat feels happy over that fact and he smiles as the taller closes in to round an arm on him. Kyungsoo wonders why he feels different with this way of Jongdae holding him...

Kyungsoo clears his throat as he feels his roommate pressing in lightly, just where it's comfortable for the both of them. He gets a pat on the back and the male utters a soft, "You go have fun okay? If your date turns out to be another dump, here's an advance hug coming from me."

The petite lets himself stay buried in that warmth and his smile doesn't falter then. Only grows slightly wider when he hears the soft laugh come from himself.

"Thanks, Dae."

‘Dae.’

It's a new term— an endearment.

As Kyungsoo fixes his hair one last time and walks to the door without looking back, he doesn’t see Jongdae hold a hand to the wall at his side.

There is a smile that makes its place there on him.

And Kyungsoo’s not aware that in Jongdae’s mind are the words playing— Himself asking why it all feels nice.

That maybe it's nice because it's the first time that he's not really minding Kyungsoo coming in to know him just a little more.

Maybe it's nice because there's finally something that can tell they're friends now.

Maybe it's nice because Kyungsoo is also letting him in...

 

Jongdae doesn't really know himself. But as he stills there, arms still propped against the wall, his other hand to his chest as if he's singing the National Anthem— he recalls the way the nickname rolled out of Kyungsoo's lips.

Shaking his head, Jongdae chuckles amused.

Maybe it's just Kyungsoo.

 

The tip of the friendship scale is tested when Jongdae decides for some alone time— because it becomes that of a friendly night out with Kyungsoo as he bumps into him outside the Cinemas.

Jongdae didn't need to know why, because like the previous dates that seem to be getting more and more last minute-cancelled, Kyungsoo would be there with a disappointed look on his face, standing with the snacks and tickets all ready.

Jongdae finds it absolutely ridiculous at how that adorable wide-eyed male is missing the most needed element for it to be called a date— the boyfriend.

 

"Trade you four nights of washing the dishes for that ticket." He offers.

And Kyungsoo's face would light up.

Just like that.

 

Jongdae will never admit how thankful he is for that gut feeling of him wanting to tag along without them knowing.

He’s not going to admit how happy it makes him to be Kyungsoo’s go-to person now after so the few times that he gets ditched by his own lover.

 

. . .

 

The movie Kyungsoo picks for that evening is a horror one. Jongdae notices as they pass through the still-lit cinema room. With all the blood oozing at the four corners of the Poster beside the door, that simple detail can’t ever be missed.

He's carrying a bag of popcorn while Kyungsoo carries his own package of nachos and cheese, his own beverage on the other hand. The both of them are heavily loaded with snacks that when they make it to the ticket collector, Kyungsoo ushers him to take the tickets off his lips as they are nestled there in between perfectly.

Jongdae doesn't stop to think about his actions. He simply raises his eyebrows at the smaller, leaning in to catch the tickets with his own lips and then they're centimeters apart.

His own hands being full as well, Jongdae chooses to hand over the tickets like that, letting them slip off his own lips as the collector rips the side and then tucks it into his pocket.

Jongdae doesn't notice the way Kyungsoo's eyes bulged in surprise.

 

"So you like horror movies?" Jongdae leans in, playfully whispering to his side towards his roommate as they settle on their seats.

Kyungsoo, just like before is all firm in his posture but then his eyes tell a different story as the rolling of various trailers illuminate them.

Jongdae tries not to dwell on that detail.

"Yeah. I do." he receives a dry reply.

"So you wanted to punish Jongin for blowing you off? You always told me how he hated horror movies." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood but he notices how the other doesn’t even offer a simple sign of going along with him.

Kyungsoo's eyes tell more than his expressions do.

"I was taking a gamble."

Whether or not Jongin will be there.

Whether or not he'll have to go on a date where his supposed boyfriend isn't physically nor mentally with him.

"Well your gamble is on luck because I have a knack for horror too." Jongdae shrugs, and Kyungsoo turns to him with a small smile painted upon his face. There it is. That's better. "I don't know about you, Soo but if I were you, I'd totes date myself."

 

Jongdae doesn’t really know whether or not that statement is left hanging in the air just for the heck of it.

 

. . .

 

Jongdae can say that their friendship’s been in the incubator for too long.

Overdue, as what it should be referred to because after years of actually being a part of each other’s’ lives, it’s only now when they actually found the time to make use of it. Like this time, with Kyungsoo coming back home again but there’s that familiar tint of pink in his cheeks.

Where there’s a hint of happiness.

He’s happy again. Jongdae thinks to himself as he watches the smaller strut into their shared room, his bag hanging at his shoulder as it always does but then there’s that new twist that comes with the swinging. With Kyungsoo tugging onto the scarf that Jongdae doesn’t remember seeing that day, the smaller faces him with his lips forming that beautiful shape of a heart.

“How was your day?” He pipes, as he’s always been asking.

As how things have fallen into routine.

“Good.” Kyungsoo happily responds.

Very good. Jongdae automatically corrects in his head. Not that he hopes that Kyungsoo’s always being let down by his own boyfriend.

“How about yours?” Kyungsoo tilts his head, returning the question.

“As always.”

“You know Jongdae, you should try to come out sometimes.” Kyungsoo shrugs. It’s getting colder and colder— Christmas just around the corner. “How about you spend the holidays with us?”

Us?

“I wouldn’t want to impose, Soo. Not to mention I’d be the third-wheel to a-” He tries with a chuckle but then he sees Kyungsoo marching towards him.

“We’re planning a Christmas party, you idiot! Jongin’s friends will be there. A-and well… They told me I can bring someone with me as well.” Kyungsoo’s voice grows small at the last few words. Jongdae couldn’t tell what that meant. What that weird blooming in his insides meant. He just knows that he agreed to it because he’s the one that Kyungsoo wanted there with him.

 

The booming music becomes a regularity. It becomes a new door, a new distraction. After the first time that Jongdae’s been to a drinking party-- at his junior year, to boot. He realizes how much he’s been missing out in life. How socializing should have been a part of his life. Needless to say, he came to love being around people. It was as if he’s broken down all the walls that he’s built around him.

 

Jongdae will never admit that seeing Jongin and Kyungsoo making out against the fridge in that party was one of the biggest reasons why he needed change.

 

. . .

 

With the few months that passed, Jongdae’s learned more and more not only about himself but also about the small boy who comes through the same door with that grim expression on his face. He’s also come to realize how much he dislikes seeing Kyungsoo disappointed all to the fact that it’s all for the same reason.

Jongdae’s used to it. Probably more used to it than Kyungsoo who experiences everything first-hand.

Love was the thing that he never understood. Not for himself and most definitely not for the people around him. He used to think that love was all about happiness.

But through Kyungsoo, he’s able to see that love can have its ugly side.

The love that abandons, that cancels on you the last minute.

And there’s the love that perseveres… Yet still doesn’t show any signs of letting up.

He sees all these because of Kyungsoo, and somehow, Jongdae thinks that there should be more for him than all of this.

That there’d be someone who could save that adorable face from shedding any more tears.

 

. . .

 

The lights are turned off, everything dark in his eyes as he gets inside their dorm room. Jongdae is surprised to find things like this.

As his eyes adjust, he realizes that there are paper notes scattered around. His keys jingle in his hands as he pushes the door to a close quietly, his ears picking up on that familiar sobbing.

Jongdae feels a prick at his heart, remembering that today was the day that Kyungsoo’s told him about— And to the fact that Kyungsoo is there when he should come back the next day only meant the worst.

 

Hurrying into the room, Jongdae whips his head from side to side, he squints his eyes to find a lump under the blankets of the said boy’s bed.

“Kyungsoo.” Jongdae calls out, his expression the same as every night when the boy is moping because of a bad day.

“I expected this to happen.” the boy manages out through sniffs, “I’m so stupid.”

The taller walks up to the crying male and hugs him. “Kyungsoo.”

“How could I have let this drag on…? Two years? I’m so stupid.” Kyungsoo mutters again as if he’s talking to himself. “I should have noticed. Why was I so blind?”

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongdae tries for the third time, turning the boy around so that he could see him despite the dark. The smaller is wrapped around his thick blanket, head peeking out as he continues to whisper incoherent words. “Talk to me.”

But Kyungsoo’s all to himself, whispering words that is akin to berating himself.

“It’s over.” Kyungsoo whispered. “We broke up. It’s funny because I’m crying over it when in fact I wasn’t the least bit surprised that it turned out like this.

I was expecting it, Dae. I was expecting it. I’m so incompetent; I couldn’t even keep a relationship going.” The boy sobbed.

“You’re not. Soo, don’t talk like that.” He tried; cupping the latter’s face as he feels the wet trail of tears onto the younger’s cheeks. “You tried, okay? I saw it. I saw you.”

“But why wasn’t it enough, Dae?” The boy asked followed by a hiccup. The sound of it all— the sobbing, the heartbreaking intake of breaths inflicted something in him as well.

“Why wasn’t I enough?”

“Kyungsoo, listen to me.”

“I tried, didn’t I?” he asked again with a trembling voice. “I managed for two years, Dae. Two years-- You said it yourself, y-you saw. You knew, Dae. I did, I tried!”

To this, Jongdae wiped the tear stains on the petite’s face. Threading through the dark, Jongdae closed in on the sobbing male, sticking their foreheads together. “You did your best, Soo.” He says as he lowers his hands down to the smaller’s neck, rubbing circles there as he waits for Kyungsoo to calm down.

 

Kyungsoo’s too vulnerable then with his guard down. Saved by the lights turned off, Jongdae knew that the latter, in the last possible way, was revealing himself to him. Weakness and all. And though he finds himself feeling warm inside, he knows that it isn’t the time to be rejoicing that he’s yet again one step closer to the boy than he was yesterday.

It shouldn’t explain why he’s entirely okay with the fact that Kyungsoo’s suffering right now. And neither should it explain why he’s there, seated centimeters in front of the heartbroken— neck-deep in the waters that he vowed never to dip himself into.

Before Jongdae knew it, he’s soaked up and dripping as he tries to save the drowning boy that he has routinely watched swim around the cycled feelings of hurt, desperation and longing. He’s there, feeling something that he’s long ago acknowledged but refused to voice out in respect to the relationship that Kyungsoo’s been trying to keep alive over and over again.

 

It shouldn’t explain why their lips are molding together in a careful kiss, why Kyungsoo’s shoving off the thick blankets to reveal himself broken and in need of a fix like this.

 

Jongdae opens his eyes, wondering if this is all an illusion.

But Kyungsoo’s in front of him. And the way that he’s hearing not only the other’s ragged breathing but also his own tells him that he’s gone beyond observing.

“J-Jongdae…” Kyungsoo whispers his name; the latter’s hand making way out of the blanket and onto his shirt. Before anything else is said, Jongdae dips back in and kisses Kyungsoo.

And it’s not like the first one— unsure, scared.

Jongdae tries to pour it all in, because he knows that he’ll cower back in soon.

 _He_ needs this.

 

But he didn’t know which one of them did.

 

. . .

 

The morning light seeps in through the window and Jongdae awakens feeling nothing close to okay. He clearly remembers what went down the night before and there are two lanes of feelings inside him as he settles into a more conscious state.

In his head is the image of Kyungsoo’s tear-stained face, his voice calling his name over and over again as he opened himself up for him. Words that asked for comfort was never said neither were the words that asked him to help forget. The way Kyungsoo held onto him that night was enough to say.

Taking a shower, Jongdae decides to do the laundry all at the same time. Though he doesn’t know where Kyungsoo has gone off to, he was sure that the latter would come back anyway… He knew Kyungsoo that much, at least.

He recalls the events from the previous night. He recalls Kyungsoo’s warmth, his voice as he called his name. He knows why it happened, what caused it. Jongdae knows that he shouldn’t attach himself emotionally to it, but the more he remembers, the more he thinks how much he’d like for it to happen again.

Just that it he knows that it won’t. Rather, he hopes that it won’t if it meant it’d be caused by the same thing.

Jongdae’s just about done with the laundry when he hears the door open. He comes out half-running as he spots his roommate, now with an expression that he doesn’t recognize.

“Where’ve you been, Soo?”

“H-huh? Oh j-just… Somewhere. I had to pick s-something up.” Kyungsoo stutters and he almost slips as he takes his shoes off at the entrance, Jongdae having to help him up.

The taller doesn’t pick up on that change in the smaller. Neither does he notice that faint blush upon his cheeks as he scurries out of his hold, hands fisted onto the black plastic bag that he brought with him from the supermarket.

Jongdae clearly remembers what happened, but he knows that it isn’t something he should make a big deal out of. Though he knew what the words were exactly, he’d beg to let it stay undefined in respect to the petite’s feelings.

He was perfectly aware that Kyungsoo needed a friend.

And that’s him.

 

Being a friend.

 

. . .

Kyungsoo woke up first that morning.

There’s guilt flooding him up to his neck, but then there’s also the warmth all over his body as he realizes that there’s an arm around him, holding him close.

His heart is beating loudly all for the unknown reasons and he’s sure that this is something that happens normally. He’s nervous. That’s it. He’s worried.

Because this might be the end for it— for their friendship. They crossed the line— rather, he begged Jongdae to cross that line for him and he didn’t have any ounce of thought for how the latter feels about it.

He just literally made a fool out of Jongdae and it scares him that the male will wake up and realize how much of a mistake it is to let him have that bit of comfort— to let him have this feeling of security as he wakes up, feeling as if the breakup that he’s supposed to still be bleeding dry from happened a light years ago.

Kyungsoo cowers into the blankets as he hears Jongdae’s muffled groaning. He sinks into the mattress, feeling himself sore and bone-wrecked tired, blushing madly as Jongdae’s thigh hovers right against his hip.

Jongdae’s a cuddler, he thinks.

 

Pursing his lips back, Kyungsoo quietly turns himself around so that he could see the wreck that they are. In hopes that he could laugh his way out of this, and thank Jongdae for helping him feel better.

It’s in such an untimely manner when Kyungsoo thinks just how long he’s known Jongdae. And for that amount of years that they’ve shared together, it makes him wonder how he’s able to live through without even the tiniest bit trying to get to know him even better.

Kyungsoo takes it as a time to think it all through, takes it all as a time to wonder what life would have been if Jongdae was never there in the picture.

 

As he turns around to come face to face with the man that he’s known just as how long as he’s lived, Kyungsoo is struck as he finds himself gracing a hand to the sleeping male’s face, caressing him. Kyungsoo’s heart gets stuck in his throat as he finds himself thinking how wonderful it’d be to wake up next to this person forever.

 

Forever.

Forever didn’t seem like a bad idea as he looked at Jongdae that moment.

. . .

[ 2 years later ]

Kyungsoo is seated on the edge of his seat as he tries not to puke all that buttered cup of corn that he had in the middle of the movie.

Jongdae’s doing the usual— not watching at all, instead his attention are towards him as he takes off the 3D glasses that they’ve gotten as a dare to who could take it better.

Kyungsoo was ready to admit defeat.

 

They were exiting the theatre when Jongdae noticed that pout on the smaller’s lips, “You accepted the challenge!” He whined, but still there’s that laugh that follows which makes the smaller frown even more.

“That wasn’t horror— that was all gore! I won’t be able to sleep tonight.” He shudders as he remembers all those blood.

“Aw, c’mon. At least we know that we’ll stay away from 3Ds now, okay bub?”

 _“Bub?”_ Kyungsoo arches an eyebrow, still frowning. “I hate you.”

 

“That wasn’t a good idea.”

They overhear from behind them, making the duo turn.

Jongdae watches as Kyungsoo turns around, his eyes going wide just like they did when the last part of the movie came on. He’ll have to admit that he never expected to actually see Jongin again. Of all places it had to be in the cinema where he over and over again stood Kyungsoo up.

 

“Kyungsoo.” They don’t hear— rather, they see as the familiar duo gives them that familiar look.

The taller raises a hand, akin to a wave. Jongdae does the same, returning the gesture.

“Should we go say hi to them?” Kyungsoo whispers, looking up at him. He could tell that Kyungsoo’s confident now, his eyes not the least bit showing that look he used to. If it’d been a year ago, Kyungsoo would probably shake his head and walk away.

“I never really got to introduce you to him way back, huh?”

Jongdae smiles at the remembrance, and he nods in response. He was never in a hurry to be introduced to Jongin.

Kyungsoo’s supposed last puzzle piece, his final picture…

 

Taking the petite’s hand and enclosing it with his, Jongdae lets out a contented sigh, “Maybe it’s time you introduced your boyfriend to your friends.” He hums.

Kyungsoo laughs cutely at his tone and he gets lead by him.

And as they go through the crowd and more theatre posters, Jongdae thinks to himself how much happy he is to know that he’s Kyungsoo’s missing puzzle.

 

The final picture is complete.


End file.
